Why Can't Females Give Each other The Same Communication and Respect We Give Men?

As you know, I’m a huge advocate for women empowerment. I don’t support drama, grudges or beef but I do believe in letting go of people who are toxic dead weight trying to bring you down. I’m in a season right now where I need nothing but positive energy that will elevate me to where I’m going in life. I don’t have room for anything toxic. 

But what I wanted to chat with you today about is how some of us females communication is slack with each other but the opposite with men. 

I want to know why can’t we give each other the same energy we give men when it comes to communication? We’d rather take hours or days before texting another female back, but when it comes to men, we make sure we respond in a timely manner. 

I may be different but I don’t do that. If anything, I text my female friends back before I text my male friends because that’s my girl, we have to stick together in this world. 

SN: if I am busy or I forget to respond, I immediately acknowledge it by saying something like “omg girl I’m so sorry I’m just now responding, I was super busy earlier! What’s up?” That way it shows that I respect her and care about her, plus it’s common curtesy.

I’ve had many times where I’ve texted a homegirl or potential business partner and the communication was slack on their end. For example: I was in the process of planning a panel discussion and I asked this girl I know who’s got a really good podcast out and I wanted her to be a part of it. When I proposed the idea to her, she responded 6 days later and said let’s chat this weekend. I said ok cool, let’s do Sunday and never got a response. That Sunday I texted her that evening and asked if she still wanted to chat and I still haven’t gotten a response from her and this was mid September. Would it have been different if I were a guy and texting her asking if I could take her out on a date? More than likely. 

Some of us would rather go on dates with men than collaborate with women, why is that? 

 In Beyoncé’s song Flawless, featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, in her part of the song she says:

“Because I am female

I am expected to aspire to marriage

I am expected to make my life choices

Always keeping in mind that

Marriage is the most important

Now marriage can be a source of

Joy and love and mutual support

But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage

And we don't teach boys the same?

We raise girls to each other as competitors

Not for jobs or for accomplishments

Which I think can be a good thing

But for the attention of men”

Based off of what she said, we are raised to put men on a higher standard than we are supposed to with other women. We are taught that marriage and relationships are more important and that we should be competitors for the attention of men. Also, that when some of us get in relationships or marriages, we tend to think we are better than other women who are single. Or we cancel on plans with our friends because our man wants to take us out, which is no bueno!

Confession: so I have a step sister who has noticed my hard work, my businesses growing, me thriving and is jealous of that.  I didn’t know she was jealous until yesterday when she came at me. As you all know, I have a non profit that I named after my other step sister who was murdered from domestic violence. But I’ve also witnessed domestic violence growing up watching my parents fight, and I was in toxic relationships which I thought was a normal part of a relationship until I learned about domestic violence in my criminal justice classes, but then it really affected me when she died. That’s what made me go back to school for my Master’s Degree, work in law enforcement and become an advocate. My sister was the eye opener and reality check for my mission to help other women not go through what she and I and my mother went through. But anyways, my other step sister text me yesterday that what I was doing was wrong and that it says a lot about a person’s character to capitalize on the death of their own sister and that I need to get a job and find a man. 

I was like “and I oop” lol! Of course I chose not to respond but I did pray for her and asked God to forgive her. But she was raised differently than I was. I wasn’t raised to compete or belittle anyone if they were single. SN: I actually have 2 jobs and 3 businesses, but I don’t have to prove myself to her. And I don’t feel like I need a man to define my accomplishments in life, that’s where so many women have it twisted. Marriage is important but I think living in your purpose, making an impact on others and building solid friendships and partnerships is more important. Marriage or a relationship is just a bonus to that. 

But I believe that some of us women would rather beef with each other than beef with men, especially if they disrespected us. 9 times out of ten, if your friend stood you up and then your boyfriend stood you up, you’d be more forgiving of him than her. 

Let me ask you something: why are we more forgiving of men than we are with our own friends and sisters? Why would we rather work things out with men than we do with females? It’s because we aspire to marriage and are raised for competition of men for their attention. Then we wonder why we don’t have friends and our man is all we have, which isn’t healthy by the way. There should be a balance between friends and your relationship. 

Make it your best effort to take time out for your friends, support them, go on dates with them and most of all, let’s text each other back. There is power within us when we collaborate, and not hate!