Why I Don't Use Dating Apps aka Online Date Shopping

Happy Sunday girl boss! So this week, I want to talk about dating apps and why I do not use them anymore. The reason why I chose this topic is because I went on a date this week with someone I met at a party (insert eye emoji) and it was really good. Granted when I moved here to Atlanta, I was tempted to download Tinder or Bumble and start swiping away! But I decided not to, because if I did, I would be distracted, and I moved here to grow my business, not my body count #thatpart

So I want you to raise your hand if you have ever used a dating app…

Keep your hand up if ever met someone off of those apps…

Now raise it higher if things did not work out because they were lying in their bio or crazy (lol don’t worry, I’m raising my hand too because whewwwww Chile).

Ok you can put your hand down now.

Did you know that according to eHarmony.com, 53% of people lie on these dating apps. It’s either about age, height/weight, or job, and I feel like those should be the MAIN things to tell the truth about! They did not put this on there, but people lie about their relationship status too.

SN: Speaking of height, I went on a date with this Arabian guy from Bumble earlier this year, and he was really cute and an entrepreneur. So I thought it was instantly going to be a vibe! I was wrong. First, he said he would be 15 minutes late, turned out to be 35 minutes, then he said in his bio that he was 5’10, dude was 5’5, and theennnnnnnnnn he had the nerve to ask to split the checks! Listen, dude was late, so if anything he should have taken care of the bill, plus my food and drink was $15 and if he could not afford that, then I knew he was not worth my time so you know what I did after I left right?…..BINGO! I blocked him!

I honestly feel like dating apps are lazy online shopping for a date. Just like you’d be scrolling through Fashion Nova, or Nasty Gal website for something that appeals to you, you do the same with dating. You swipe until you find someone you like, add them to the cart (your inbox) and then checkout by setting up a date. And don’t you hate when you order something that looks so good, and when it arrives, it does not fit, then you can’t get your money back?! Thats the same with men, when they don’t fit, just block them.

When it came to swiping, I would judge men based off that first picture and I would say things like “oh his nose is too big, he look like he write bad checks, he looks like a womanizer, he looks frightened” and then WHOOP, THERE IT IS! You see this dream guy looking like he could be your future husband, but then you go to his bio and it says “not looking for anything serious, just trying to make friends” which translates “I don’t want a relationship so don’t even think about it, I just want some sex.” Sis, if you see that, keep swiping, no need to waste your time and energy, you’re a girl boss, you don’t waste those things. Plus if he’s looking that fine, and trying to get some booty off a dating app, he perpetrating and he probably crazy and wear dirty shoes or something. Like why can’t he just pull girls in public? Think about it.

Let me tell you about my weirdest online dating experience: About 5 years ago while I was out traveling for work in Hickory, NC, I met this guy on Tinder. He was really cute, tall and seemed decent. We texted a few times, then he suggested we meet at Applebee’s (first of all eww, but this was Hickory, there’s nothing really out there) and I said ok, what the heck, it’s a free meal so whatever.

Before I left my hotel to head out, he mentioned he wanted to come to my room afterwards, I asked for what??? This dude had the nerve to say “well you’re not about to get a free meal out of me and then dip” SKRRRRRTTT! PAUSE!! WHAT??!! What I look like?! I had so many things to say that I decided not to say anything, I just blocked him. I think he was the first guest at my block party, and the party list goes on and on.

After this sitauion, I took a break from dating apps, then eventually I got bored and went back. It was usually guys on there looking for sex, or just got out of a relationship, looking for love, orrrrr really genuine guys who always had something wrong with them. It never worked out with any of them.

I also came to a realization that there are plenty of other women on these same dating apps, looking for the same thing you are looking for. These men on these apps do not owe you their loyalty from the jump, most of the time sis, they’re for everybody! So you can not get mad if he’s a dog.

As a matter of fact, I remember scrolling and I happened to stumble upon my ex boyfriend’s page. The same guy who was trying to get back with me, yet he got his side chick pregnant in the midst of that. Dude had a whole baby on the way and guess what his profile said ”no kids, but want some in the future.” I was like DUDE you technically already have a baby, it’s just baking in the oven! When I called him out on that, he told me to mind my business lol. But another female who does not know him will not know about his baby from the jump and she could get catfished.

Speaking of catfish, although some of these men might look like their picture in real person, they could be lying about who they are. They could be crazy, lying about their age, lying about their income, their parental status, etc.

I say that to say this, when you are dating online, you don’t know the real person. All you know is the perception of them, based off what they tell you. It is up to you to decide if you want to believe them or not. On a serious note, I just shared an article about a young girl who met this boy on Facebook, who stabbed her 80 times when she went to meet him, so you have to be careful.

But if online dating is your thing, don’t go by what they write. Go by what they post, look at all their pics, look in the background, look at what they are wearing, who’s in their pics, what are there facial expressions, are they groomed, do they brush their teeth? Look at all that!

But whatever you decided to do, protect your feelings and be safe. I’d rather be single and safe, than dead or hurt because I’m looking for a relationship. I believe the right man will come, and he’s not on a dating app, scrolling to find me. So just be patient grasshopper.